BUS STOP

Maybe it is raining, but don`t let it ruin your day

Maybe you enjoy some sun in your day

But don`t get too carried away,

Stop. Think. Nothing lasts. So what?

And this midnight bus

That I missed, should let it go.

Made me feel stupid for I was supposed to get on;

He slams the door right to my face

I feel angry and awkward,

It almost caught my nose. Funny?

Seem like these days no one ever sees me.

I am sure no one really cares.

Does anyone really see anyone these days?

I will never tell you what I feel for you;

Because I am too closed off, scarred, and shy;

and you sensed something

But you misread it 

as disinterestedness on my part.

If you only knew it is not and I do not play any roles,

It`s just really the scars that failed to heal and unfold

It`s the scars telling me to shut up, sabotage me 

But then I defy and I finally open up and go for it

And I do, despite it`s hard, and I feel incredibly proud of myself

I am really brave for opening up, 

And that`s when you go trampling on my pearl proclaiming it clingy! 

Proclamation of clinginess and neediness!

When in truth there is no pleasing you, 

You want to be chased and left alone!

And you want God

To send you the one with no drama and fuss,

On the silver plate.

When it is you who need help and

you want yourself to be served on a golden plate!

As a hard-earned trophy.

Such insolence, such pride, such stupidity.

I turn out to be a fool in your eyes,

Yes, you take me for a fool and I play along,

But I am a fool

For wasting a pearl;

Not because I am stupid but because I can`t help but fall.

I am reading you like a book just like you read me,

Or we can`t read but we both think we are so literate.

While the rain is pouring on me and there`s no one to protect me

Not even you, because let`s face it, you never really cared

Easier to “move on” to another bus 

there’s plenty of fish in the sea – that’s how you console yourself into lies

but that’s not my problem – I`ve overcome pretending

I`ve learned that the scars and pain always lie,

They are telling you to walk away without putting up a fight,

They call it trauma these days,

Just to get you off their back.

Because they don`t want drama

As if they got it made and all figured out and got it all together.

Hypocrites.

They call it trauma just to get you off their back

And dismiss you as a loser because they deserve a winner!

Why aren`t they with a winner then?

They dismiss you and despise you because you remind them that could be them or it is them deep down!

Like Kurt Cobain

no one really listened to cries for help

why don`t people listen?

Because they actually don`t care.