I MADE YOU UP

 I made you up inside my head
And that's entirely my load to bear,
Maybe you are alive or maybe you are dead,
But I successfully made you up inside my head.

I  made you up inside my head
And that's entirely all my fault
Maybe you are alive, maybe you are dead,
But my making you up is what I truly own.

Now everything crumbles and topples down,
My world of lies I built on you
Upon the sand and shaky ground of fantasy,
And who cares about our fantasies but us,
And in the end fantasies render us weak and foolish in our own eyes.

Who cares what the world will say - they know nothing because they are used to living in a lie,
Even though the fantasy is not real it is more honest than living in a lie.

But I am painfully aware of your distant heart,
And I am evermore getting drunk
On my delusion more addictive than whiskey or wine or any drug.

I know my delusion very well,
My drunkenness, and my craving for cheap wine,
But I cherish it deeply,
It's only mine and it's not hurting anyone.